Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
