I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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