I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
