i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize
