Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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