yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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