Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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