At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize