i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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