hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
