My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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