I need help removing her.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize