I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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