There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
