therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
