My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
