guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
