you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
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