So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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