Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
