I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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