I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
