This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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