He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
