Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Randomize
