another moral hangover. fuck.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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