I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
