a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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