Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
