I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
