I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
