It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
