Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
