atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
