Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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