If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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