apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
