She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
