New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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