The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
