I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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