I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Randomize
