I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Randomize
