he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
