so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
