u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize