no, he came in my armpit
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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