its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Ladies don't puke and tell
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize