just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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