No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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