I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
