We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I will be naked everywhere
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
