Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
