so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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