He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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