At least make sure they are 18
Why
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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