Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
