You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
