She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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