Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
This is classic penis vs brain.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
