Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
