hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
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I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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