I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
No subtext here. People are naked.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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