he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Your penis caused this!
Randomize